I had a wee bit of time this morning so I had a quick wander in my favourite little patch of nature. As I was walking, I noticed the wildness of the forest – how trees, weeds, and brambles grow wherever and however they feel. No rules, no requirements, no expectations placed on them. And as humans, we generally look at them and appreciate their authenticity, their worth, their simple existence. We don’t try to change them or judge how they show up. We notice, we appreciate, we even look for unique differences.

And yet, with humans (especially our own selves) we have such a different relationship. We decide who we should be, how we should show up, and we attempt to hide the things that make us unique in favour of fitting in – we avoid showing the very things that make us beautiful, that make us US.

Our expectations (and society’s expectations) limit our ability to show up authentically and wholly in our lives. I hear over and over from clients how they wish there was a space where it was safe to show up as themselves, how they wish others around them would do the same. We are CRAVING that connection with others. We are craving the beauty of the wildness of a forest, where we can simply be our whole selves, where we can be appreciated for who we are, and not expected to fit into a box of someone else’s or our own expectations.

By the time we reach adulthood, we have usually taken others expectations and internalized them so well that we police our own selves. We judge the things that make us different, we judge our vulnerability – we even judge our need for and craving of vulnerable connections.

What if, for a moment, you were able to be completely, wholly yourself, without trying to change who that person is? What if you could have a circle of people around you to mirror, validate, and celebrate that brilliant individual? What would change for you if you could reframe how you see yourself in terms of radical acceptance and love? And (especially) what would change if you had a community where you could do that with others?

There are places, communities, and people out there who are wanting and craving the same thing. It can take time, and is a bumpy journey at times, to find those people where you can take off the layers of protections and inauthenticity that keep you safe in judgemental spaces. And it is so worth it once you do.

A great place to start is to take a look at your current circle of humans: Where (and with whom) can you be yourself right now? And who in your life is safe to be themselves around you?